Ode to Bus

He loved his wife.
He loved his children,
his grandchildren, and
his great-grandchildren.
He loved his church.
He loved his camp.
He loved his country.
He loved to play cards and
won his share of nickels.
He was never late for dinner.
He always ordered the same thing and
he always tipped a dollar.
He always struck the same pose
for pictures but
he never struck a pose
for people.
He loved his sports;
from Bob Feller and
the Big Red Machine
to the surprising summer of ’90.
And of course he loved his Buckeyes
— all of them —
and he raised a grove
of his own.
He drove 35 on 22
and 55 on 71 but
he loved the rolling roads
through the small towns best.

He didn’t say much,
mum but never
mysterious.
Mark Twain once said
it’s better to keep your mouth shut
and be thought a fool than to open it
and remove any doubt.
But Bus was nobody’s fool,
and didn’t suffer them gladly.
His way was simple and sound;
he was always glad to see you
but the rest he left up to Liz.
He was old-school taciturn
and some would say
hard to know
but he is and always will be
easy to remember.

Edward E. “Bus” Hale

The first time I met Bus — I didn’t allow myself to call him Bus until I was well over 50 — I made the drive to Lancaster to “meet the parents.” I showed up at the door – a junior in college – with a fuzzy goatee and met the mom.

Promptly at 5pm, mom, Carol, her four siblings and I, gathered around the kitchen table. In walked Bus, sat at the head of the table and commenced to eat Chili… on a plate!… with no onions (he didn’t like onions). That was a first for me.

On a subsequent visit, feeling my oats over dinner, I made a college boy derogatory comment about labor unions. I was abruptly advised that he was a proud member of the pipefitters union. I never brought that subject up again. Surprise! He allowed me to take his daughter’s hand.

One thing sure, when I visited the Hales, there was always a game on the TV… the Reds, the Buckeyes, the Bengals or Browns. I remember him most, sitting… sitting in his big Barcalounger for the games… sitting on a bench outside a shop at the mall… sitting at the head of the table… sitting in the driver’s seat – he loved to drive. In 2006, he took us out in the big Ford on a driving tour of the back roads of Fairfield County, pointing out where he and others grew up, hung out, went to school; and where a drunken uncle or two stumbled their way home. I loved that tour. I felt like after all those years, I knew a little about the man, and that’s what I’ll remember.

SPREZZATURA

Three seemingly disparate things converged earlier this week. (1) I bought a new MacBook Pro computer, (2) I installed a “word of the day” program that launches when I boot it, (3) The word on Tuesday was Sprezzatura (an archaic Italian word for being able to conduct your craft without a lot of visible effort…more on that later), and (4) Seth Godin’s blog that day was on Sprezzatura.

I don’t think it’s any coincidence that Seth’s blog was on this word. He very possibly is a Mac guy, and the word resonated with him (as it did with me). However, I don’t think it would have resonated so loudly had I not seen it earlier on my WOTD and had a chance to reflect on it before seeing his blog. And I certainly would not have seen the word had it not been for the WOTD program resident on my new Mac. Coincidence? You be the judge…

Sprezzatura. What an interesting concept. We all strive to demonstrate expertise in our work by accomplishing tasks without a lot of visible effort. Smoothly. Seemingly effortlessly. But at the same time, we cannot appear to cruising through our jobs unconsciously or else our supervisors and clients may not value our work. A fine line. Godin describes it as a combination of elan, grace, and class…sort of the opposite of the loud grunts you hear on the tennis court, or the visible flurry of activity and stress sometimes evidenced when you help out a customer.

Do you have sprezzatura? Do you know people who do? Would you prefer to have an attorney or a CPA with sprezzatura; or one without? I know I would.

So focus on those areas where you can show off your sprezzatura. Reach inside and uncover those skills you have where you can effortlessly pull it off. Bring it to the surface. Your customers will value it. Your peers will envy it. And your confidence will build on it.

Sprezzatura. Don’t leave home without it.

“Be hungrier than anyone else, but never LOOK hungry. That’s the trick.”
— Chris Brogan, blogger extraordinaire

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